Addiction

Montreal, December 1, 2009 – A Université de Montréal researcher, funded by the Interdisciplinary Research Center on Family Violence and Violence Against Women, has launched a new study to examine the effects of pornography on men. ”We started our research seeking men in their twenties who had never consumed pornography. We couldn’t find any,” says Simon Louis Lajeunesse, a postdoctoral student and professor at the School of Social Work.

Porn. I hate it.

But there is something that is hard for me to admit to: I use porn. I take part in something that objectify people. Pictures/videos with the aim  of triggering sexual excitement is not in itself wrong. It is when we use it  as substitution for other thing,  as a reward or escape.

Here are some reasons:

  1. If healthy sexuality is music, then porn is noise. Why is this? It gives instant gratification and furthermore it all about gratification.
  2. I use it even though I hate it. Only I don’t hate it when I use it, the feeling of hate and shame comes afterwards.
  3. I think it fucks up my view of women and throws petrol on my potential whore-Madonna-complex. It is surely not helping me enjoy sex more. Masturbating to porn is without any demands or limitations. It’s just about getting of and that leads me to…
  4. Porn makes me feel like I am a junkie.  I get off and then I feel shame and not at all good. It’s a quick fix and masturbating to porn actually makes me feel more asexual than anything else. It’s such a mechanical practice.

I am not using porn since a while back and it makes me feel good. I saw a film called ”Don Jon” and Julianne Moore’s character asks Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s character if he ever masturbates without porn and he doesn’t. I had myself that question before but somehow it really got to me that this question is  brought up in a movie. I can not say that I often masturbate without porn and when I do it is actually better (in the sense that I actually get more aroused and don’t feel shame afterwards). I believe that porn erodes my fantasies and my creativity.

Should I hide the fact that I’ve part-taken of porn? I wish that I never had done so but I won’t hide the fact that I have. I wish for a healthier sexuality. One that doesn’t come at the cost of my creativity, my self-esteem and objectifies people.

Let’s end this with a quote:

The onslaught of porn is responsible for deadening male libido in relation to real women, and leading men to see fewer and fewer women as “porn-worthy.” Far from having to fend off porn-crazed young men, young women are worrying that as mere flesh and blood, they can scarcely get, let alone hold, their attention.

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