Being depressed is like driving of the free-way onto a desert and letting go of the wheel. You find yourself
in the middle of nowhere and you don’t care so you just let the car roll on and you take a nap in the back-seat. You wake up the middle of nowhere and you don’t see anything you recognise. Nothing to grab onto. No work, no school, no partner, no forward momentum…nothing. And you don’t know where to go. Everything is about what you carry along with you into that desert. What can you do? What are you good at? You have no food after a while. You have no place to stay. No security. But it doesn’t seem to matter. Well.. to anybody else it seems to but to you it’s just another day in the middle of nowhere. So you go in one direction for a while and nothing happens. And then you go in another direction for a while and you delude yourself into thinking that it matters. Maybe you run for a while and think that the sweat your perspiring is worth the while only to notice that your still in that fucking desert.
That is kinda what my life is like right now. No fucking, drinking or dancing is going to save me. I don’t know what will. I want to straighten out, wise up and so on… But Honestly, do I care? I don’t know.